I will admit, I am one who struggles with forgiving others. Always have, and I fear I always will. When I get hurt, I feel the pain deep. When I am offended, I feel the pain deep. I am a very emotional person. I feel things that happen to me, I feel things that happen to friends. And I feel things when I have only heard of the person. When I hear of a death, no matter who it may be, I usually break down in tears, I usually feel hurt, and almost offended that they were taken. I have a hard time expressing what I truly feel. More than struggling with forgiving others for the wrong they have done to me, I struggle most of all, with forgiving myself.
“We achieve inner health only through forgiveness -
the forgiveness not only of others but also of ourselves.”
- Joshua Loth
Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed with everything going on in my life. I feel like I have to be perfect, feel things the right way, be the right kind of person. Truth is, there is no "right kind of person". There are only attributes of that person that we can develop in our own lives. The main one is learning to forgive, and sometimes, we must forget. I'm not saying we must forget, sometimes its better to remember and learn from our mistakes, or from the wrongs made against us. But other times we need a fresh start, a clean break.
“You can't undo anything you've already done,
but you can face up to it.
You can tell the truth.
You can seek forgiveness.
And then let God do the rest.”
One of the amazing things I am lucky enough to know is that God is there for me, and he wants me to come to him. He is happy to grant me forgiveness if I first recognize that I need to change. Our Father in Heaven can grant us forgiveness, can help us feel peace, can comfort us when we feel weak. All we have to do is ask...
“Never forget the three powerful resources you always have available to you:
love,
prayer,
and forgiveness.”
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
James E. Faust gave a talk about the healing power of forgiveness, and there is a written version here. One of my favorite parts is the following:
President Brigham Young offered this profound insight that at least some of our suffering has a purpose when he said: “Every calamity that can come upon mortal beings will be suffered to come upon the few, to prepare them to enjoy the presence of the Lord. … Every trial and experience you have passed through is necessary for your salvation.”
If we can find forgiveness in our hearts for those who have caused us hurt and injury, we will rise to a higher level of self-esteem and well-being. Some recent studies show that people who are taught to forgive become “less angry, more hopeful, less depressed, less anxious and less stressed,” which leads to greater physical well-being. Another of these studies concludes “that forgiveness … is a liberating gift [that] people can give to themselves.”
“Sincere forgiveness isn't colored with expectations
that the other person apologize or change.
Don't worry whether or not they finally understand you.
Love them and release them.
Life feeds back truth to people in its own way and time.”
- Sara Paddison
If you are wondering how forgiveness works, or how forgiveness can benefit your life. Please visit this link, it is from lds.org, and is very helpful. Make sure to check out all the resources on the link listed. There is a talk by Richard G. Scott there, and I would like to share one last quote from him:
"I would add a sixth step: Recognition of the Savior. Of all the necessary steps to repentance, I testify that the most critically important is for you to have a conviction that forgiveness comes because of the Redeemer. It is essential to know that only on His terms can you be forgiven. Witness Alma’s declaration: “I was … in the most bitter pain and anguish of soul; and never, until I did cry out unto the Lord Jesus Christ for mercy, did I receive a remission of my sins. But … I did cry unto him and I did find peace to my soul.” You will be helped as you exercise faith in Jesus Christ. That means you trust Him and you trust His teachings. Satan would have you believe that serious transgression cannot be entirely overcome. The Savior gave His life so that the effects of all transgression can be put behind us, save the shedding of innocent blood and the denial of the Holy Ghost.
The fruit of true repentance is forgiveness, which opens the door to receive all of the covenants and ordinances provided on this earth and to enjoy the resulting blessings. When a repentant soul is baptized, all former sins are forgiven and need not be remembered. When repentance is full and one has been cleansed, there comes a new vision of life and its glorious possibilities. How marvelous the promise of the Lord: “Behold, he who has repented of his sins, the same is forgiven, and I, the Lord, remember them no more.” The Lord is and ever will be faithful to His words."
Remember that the key to happiness is being willing, and making the effort to forgive others, and yourself. Without this essential step, it will be nearly impossible to feel free, to be healed. Remember that the Lord Jesus Christ, and your Father in Heaven, can and will help you every step along the way. You can do it! It is possible, and it will feel amazing when you do.. And remember forgiveness won't necessarily happen over night, give it time, and never give up.
I hope you too can find some inspiration in the little things, and remember- good happens.
- J
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