Forgiveness- Healing for the Soul

I will admit, I am one who struggles with forgiving others. Always have, and I fear I always will. When I get hurt, I feel the pain deep. When I am offended, I feel the pain deep. I am a very emotional person. I feel things that happen to me, I feel things that happen to friends. And I feel things when I have only heard of the person. When I hear of a death, no matter who it may be, I usually break down in tears, I usually feel hurt, and almost offended that they were taken. I have a hard time expressing what I truly feel. More than struggling with forgiving others for the wrong they have done to me, I struggle most of all, with forgiving myself.

“We achieve inner health only through forgiveness -

the forgiveness not only of others but also of ourselves.”

- Joshua Loth

Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed with everything going on in my life. I feel like I have to be perfect, feel things the right way, be the right kind of person. Truth is, there is no "right kind of person". There are only attributes of that person that we can develop in our own lives. The main one is learning to forgive, and sometimes, we must forget. I'm not saying we must forget, sometimes its better to remember and learn from our mistakes, or from the wrongs made against us. But other times we need a fresh start, a clean break.

“You can't undo anything you've already done,

but you can face up to it.

You can tell the truth.

You can seek forgiveness.

And then let God do the rest.”

One of the amazing things I am lucky enough to know is that God is there for me, and he wants me to come to him. He is happy to grant me forgiveness if I first recognize that I need to change. Our Father in Heaven can grant us forgiveness, can help us feel peace, can comfort us when we feel weak. All we have to do is ask...

“Never forget the three powerful resources you always have available to you:

love,

prayer,

and forgiveness.”

- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

James E. Faust gave a talk about the healing power of forgiveness, and there is a written version here. One of my favorite parts is the following:

President Brigham Young offered this profound insight that at least some of our suffering has a purpose when he said: “Every calamity that can come upon mortal beings will be suffered to come upon the few, to prepare them to enjoy the presence of the Lord. … Every trial and experience you have passed through is necessary for your salvation.”

If we can find forgiveness in our hearts for those who have caused us hurt and injury, we will rise to a higher level of self-esteem and well-being. Some recent studies show that people who are taught to forgive become “less angry, more hopeful, less depressed, less anxious and less stressed,” which leads to greater physical well-being. Another of these studies concludes “that forgiveness … is a liberating gift [that] people can give to themselves.”

“Sincere forgiveness isn't colored with expectations

that the other person apologize or change.

Don't worry whether or not they finally understand you.

Love them and release them.

Life feeds back truth to people in its own way and time.”

- Sara Paddison

If you are wondering how forgiveness works, or how forgiveness can benefit your life. Please visit this link, it is from lds.org, and is very helpful. Make sure to check out all the resources on the link listed. There is a talk by Richard G. Scott there, and I would like to share one last quote from him:

"I would add a sixth step: Recognition of the Savior. Of all the necessary steps to repentance, I testify that the most critically important is for you to have a conviction that forgiveness comes because of the Redeemer. It is essential to know that only on His terms can you be forgiven. Witness Alma’s declaration: “I was … in the most bitter pain and anguish of soul; and never, until I did cry out unto the Lord Jesus Christ for mercy, did I receive a remission of my sins. But … I did cry unto him and I did find peace to my soul.” You will be helped as you exercise faith in Jesus Christ. That means you trust Him and you trust His teachings. Satan would have you believe that serious transgression cannot be entirely overcome. The Savior gave His life so that the effects of all transgression can be put behind us, save the shedding of innocent blood and the denial of the Holy Ghost.

The fruit of true repentance is forgiveness, which opens the door to receive all of the covenants and ordinances provided on this earth and to enjoy the resulting blessings. When a repentant soul is baptized, all former sins are forgiven and need not be remembered. When repentance is full and one has been cleansed, there comes a new vision of life and its glorious possibilities. How marvelous the promise of the Lord: “Behold, he who has repented of his sins, the same is forgiven, and I, the Lord, remember them no more.” The Lord is and ever will be faithful to His words."

Remember that the key to happiness is being willing, and making the effort to forgive others, and yourself. Without this essential step, it will be nearly impossible to feel free, to be healed. Remember that the Lord Jesus Christ, and your Father in Heaven, can and will help you every step along the way. You can do it! It is possible, and it will feel amazing when you do.. And remember forgiveness won't necessarily happen over night, give it time, and never give up.

I hope you too can find some inspiration in the little things, and remember- good happens.

- J

The Atonement and Love of God

I've been pondering a lot lately about life, and how many mistakes we make.. In one evening I made so many mistakes I wanted to punch myself in the face- literally. Its hard to focus on all the good things happening, when you struggle with the daily mistakes made. There is one piece of good news here- it is called the Atonement. Jesus Christ suffered so that we don't have to feel alone, so that we can repent, so that we can be made whole again..

I advise you to watch this clip. It is from the Mormon Messages on youtube. And then watch this clip. I think these both can help. It is not going to make the pain go away, it is not going to necessarily change your life. But the message will bring you to Christ who can take away the pain, who will change your life!


What an amazing knowledge it is, that we never have to be alone. Even when we feel we have screwed up and shouldn't be forgiven. God will forgive us, because he loves us. Jeffrey R. Holland gave a talk (mentioned in the first clip) that I would ask you to read. I want to share one powerful exceprt from that talk:

"With all the conviction of my soul I testify that He did please His Father perfectly and that a perfect Father did not forsake His Son in that hour. Indeed, it is my personal belief that in all of Christ’s mortal ministry the Father may never have been closer to His Son than in these agonizing final moments of suffering. Nevertheless, that the supreme sacrifice of His Son might be as complete as it was voluntary and solitary, the Father briefly withdrew from Jesus the comfort of His Spirit, the support of His personal presence. It was required; indeed it was central to the significance of the Atonement, that this perfect Son who had never spoken ill nor done wrong nor touched an unclean thing had to know how the rest of humankind—us, all of us—would feel when we did commit such sins. For His Atonement to be infinite and eternal, He had to feel what it was like to die not only physically but spiritually, to sense what it was like to have the divine Spirit withdraw, leaving one feeling totally, abjectly, hopelessly alone.

But Jesus held on. He pressed on. The goodness in Him allowed faith to triumph even in a state of complete anguish. The trust He lived by told Him in spite of His feelings that divine compassion is never absent, that God is always faithful, that He never flees nor fails us. When the uttermost farthing had then been paid, when Christ’s determination to be faithful was as obvious as it was utterly invincible, finally and mercifully, it was “finished.”¹⁸ Against all odds and with none to help or uphold Him, Jesus of Nazareth, the living Son of the living God, restored physical life where death had held sway and brought joyful, spiritual redemption out of sin, hellish darkness and despair. With faith in the God He knew was there, He could say in triumph, “Father, into thy hands I commend my spirit.”¹⁹

Brothers and sisters, one of the great consolations of this Easter season is that because Jesus walked such a long, lonely path utterly alone, we do not have to do so."

Yes, we will make mistakes. Yes, we will feel alone. Yes, we will feel no one can understand. But I want you to know that I know Jesus the Christ has felt what we feel, from the tiniest of pains, to the largest of pains, heartbreaks, loneliness. So when you feel alone, remember there is someone who knows EXACTLY how you feel right now... And you don't have to do it alone. And know that God loves you, and he will forgive you. He's just waiting, anxiously, patiently, for you to humble yourself down to not only ask for help, but for forgiveness.

“When we truly realize that we are all alone is when we need others the most.”

- Ronald Anthony

Remember to pray. Remember that God hears your prayers. Remember that God loves you. And remember- you are NEVER alone.

I hope you too can find some inspiration in the little things, and remember- good happens.

- J

“Loneliness accepted becomes a gift

leading one from a life dominated by tears

to the discovery of one's true self

and finally to the heart of longing

and the love of God.”

Dreams

Have you ever had a dream? Ever wished so hard something would come true that sometimes you think that the impossibility might actually be possible? Ever feared that the one thing you've always dreamed of becoming a reality will shatter and disappear before you even have a chance to appreciate it?

Pope John XXIII said,

"Consult not your fears but your hopes and your dreams. Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential. Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in, but with what it is still possible for you to do."

What a profound statement, yet a message we refuse to focus on because we are too focused on our failures. A good friend of mine stopped me mid-sentence the other day with a firm voice. He told me never to think like I was thinking. I was assuming I had already failed, that there was no point in trying because I had hit my limit. With a concerned and loving tone, he looked at me and reminded me of a post I previously had written saying that who I am was good enough.

“Have faith in your dreams and someday your rainbow will come smiling through.

No matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep believing,

the dream that you wish will come true.”

Never let yourself give up on dreams because you never know how that dream will affect you, or how you might affect the world. I know it sounds cliche, but think of the thousands of people who had a dream and made that dream become a reality. And now think of how that dream made them who they were, and how that dream changed the world. Martian Luther King, Jr. said, "I say to you today, my friends, even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American Dream." He had a dream, and look where that dream took us!

William Arthur Ward:
"If you can imagine it, you can achieve it.
If you can dream it, you can become it."

Anything is possible if you just believe... If you can imagine a better life, if you can see a better future, you can make that dream of a better future a reality if you just let yourself dream, let yourself believe.

Mark Twain:
"Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions.
Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too,
can become great."

You are already great- but you can become even greater. Remember, you are already good enough the way you are, but don't let being good enough stop you from being great. Anything is possible, everything is within your grasp. Remember to dream, because without dreams, nothing can happen. And without a dream, how are you going to make something great happen? Dream!


I hope you too can find some inspiration in the little things, and remember- good happens.

- J

Self-worth = Who you were born to be!

It is a known fact that almost every one is at least a little bit insecure, or self conscious. Life is hard, it's bound to happen. The problem with just letting the world drag us down is that over time we're going to get so low, struggling so much, that nothing will matter anymore. St. Francis De Sales said it perfectly:

"Do not wish to be anything but what you are, and try to be that perfectly."

Have you ever sat down and really thought about how the person you are IS in fact good enough? Because in reality, it is. The person you are in unique, has special talents, is good looking, has a sweet spirit. The only problem is whether or not you can see it for yourself. Hardly anyone looks in the mirror and tells themselves how gorgeous and incredible they are. Instead you pick at imperfections, pop pimples, cake on the make up, spend forever on hair and accessorizing.. How shallow of a people are we? Or rather, how low is our self-esteem? Why do we feel the need to change everything about us before we step outside?

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others."
- Marianne Williamson

Who are you not to be? YOU are a child of God. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same!

"Always be a first-rate version of yourself,
instead of a second-rate version of somebody else."

~ Judy Garland

Now, there is a difference between being sure and confident, and being just plain cocky and conceded. Make sure to know the difference and act accordingly. But know that you deserve to realize not only your potential, but what you are already worth! No one can tell you otherwise.

"Be yourself. There is something that you can do better than any other.
Listen to the inward voice and bravely obey that."

Remember who you are. And never forget that who you are is already good enough!

"You were not born a winner, and you were not born a loser.
You are what you make yourself to be."

~ Lou Holtz

I hope you too can find some inspiration in the little things, and remember- good happens.

- J

One Day at a Time

"In any endeavor, one simple truth is all you need: 'One day at a time.'"

On my birthday this past year a good friend gave me a plaque with that quote on it. I love the message it puts out. No matter what is going on in your life, no matter how hard it may be, as long as you take it one day at a time, you'll make it through.

Being a college student, I have to balance classes, work, homework, church responsibilities, and a social life. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed and do not know if I can have it all. I feel that if I want a social life I have to do less homework and studying, or if I want to get my church responsibilities completed, I need to make time for that by taking time away from something else. What I have realized this week is that it really is important to take it one day at a time. Especially since you can't plan in time for illness, pain, heartbreak, etc. Sometimes life just happens, and you can't plan for every little thing. That is why taking it one day at a time, one moment after each moment, is so important.

Yesterday I had the opportunity to talk with a gentleman in my ward here in Provo. There is just something so honest and real about the person he is. He helped me see how my life could be if I just let life happen, and took the blessings as they came. I am surprised by how much happier I am when I take each moment as it comes and as I enjoy all the little blessings my life has to offer. When you look at your life and see it as a huge strand of events and focus on the overall effects, you neglect to focus on all the little things that God has put right in front of our faces.

I will give you a small list, and I would encourage you to make your own list, of some of the little blessings you may take for granted...

1. Shoes- I am so grateful that I have not only a single pair of shoes, but multiple pairs of shoes. When I really think about it, I am so fortunate in this day and age to live in a place, and be in a situation where I can have shoes.

2. Clouds- I love clouds, everything about them. The shape, the size, the purity and whiteness. And what I love most about them is not only how gorgeous they are, especially when they sit right at the mountains, but how they protect us, give us shade, keep us cool. I just love them.

3. Music- What a gift it is to have music. To listen to when we are happy, when we are sad. To accompany our movies, to create our musicals. To enrich our lives. "Without music, life would be a mistake."

Take a moment to make a actual, or even just a mental list of the little things you take for granted every single day. And remember, if you take them time to focus on the millions of small blessings in your life, even when you have a hard day, its easier to get back up on your feet and smile. ツ

I hope you too can find some inspiration in the little things, and remember- good happens.

- J

A Possibility

"Our aspirations are our possibilities." - Samuel Johnson

Who do I want to become? What are my goals? Who will I be? Sometimes these questions seem to broad and answering them just overwhelms me. I ponder whether or not these questions are even realistic to ask one's self. Instead of asking what one's long term goals are, sometimes you have to focus on the now, and just aspire for greater things.

"Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for." -Epicurus

Tonight I went to ward prayer expecting the usual meet and greet. I walked in and saw my good friend Mike Rose. He had a friend with him, who I casually met as I gave Mike a huge hug. After ward prayer was over I was standing with a few friends when Mike and his friend joined us. I felt awkward standing there not saying anything to his friend, so I started talking with him. Before I knew it, we had been talking for an hour and a half. (I don't think I have laughed or smiled that much in a long time.) It wasn't just that he was a nice guy. He talked to me about my life, my dreams, my passions, etc. And when I didn't have an answer, he talked with me until I found one. He made me see the person I can become if I just aspire to greatness. And he helped me see that greatness is within my reach. I don't know much about this guy, but I do know his words are an inspiration to me. I realized that its not the big picture in life that makes all the difference, its each stroke on the painting, each little detail that makes that big picture what it is. So thank you friend, thank you for helping me see a glimpse of what happiness is really like, and reminding me that good happens :)

"It doesn't matter how long we may have been stuck in a sense of our limitations.
If we go into a darkened room and turn on the light,
it doesn't matter if the room has been dark for a day, a week,
or ten thousand years - we turn on the light and it is illuminated.
Once we control our capacity for love and happiness,
the light has been turned on." - Sharon Salzberg

Remember that if you choose to focus on the magnificence in each stroke instead of just the beauty in the painting, you might be able to find happiness in the details you never knew existed.

I hope you too can find some inspiration in the little things, and remember- good happens.

- J

My Inspiration (and the 'why' behind it!)

Throughout one's life they ask themselves, or others ask them, "Who is your inspiration?" I know there are a million answers to this question. The question is whether or not I can identify the individuals who have made me who I am today.. I think I will choose my top 5- the five people that I look up to much more than they may ever know.

1. My daddy- I don't know, no, I know exactly why my daddy is number one. He balances his church callings, family responsibilities, work, personal spiritual enhancement and service towards others. It says a lot about a person that before they head to bed at night, after an extremely long day of hard work, they sit down, open their scriptures and study. As much as I love how balanced my daddy is, that is not the only reason why he is number one. I think my dad is the most hilarious man in the world. He makes me laugh even when I am trying to be all sad and angry at the world. He just makes me feel loved and happy.

I hope to be able to be half the man/person my father is.

2. Jesus Christ- Even if you think this answer is cliche, give me a chance to explain. He is the perfect example to me, and an even bigger inspiration. He knew his purpose, and he didn't put things off because he was tired, or in pain, or sick of being made fun of. He got up in the morning and did something. And those somethings he did changed the world, and changed people's lives!

I hope to be able to inspire others through perseverance and dedication.

3. Sister Wetherford- This marvelous lady was my teacher in primary when I was very very little. She died exactly one month before my 8th birthday/baptism, and would have been the one to give my baptism talk. I don't remember much about what she said or did, but I know how much love she had, and how she made everyone feel like a part of something. She really is an inspiration.

I hope to be able to loved those around me by including those who feel left out.

4. President Erickson- I feel like his was one of those fragile glass figures that you couldn't touch when you were little but always dreamed of touching. This man, I feel, is incredible. He serves and loves everyone he comes in contact with, and not because its something he should do, but rather because its something he wants to do.

I hope to be able to dedicate my life to serving others.

5. My mother- No, I am not putting my mother in the top 5 because I put my daddy, she gets in the top 5 on her own merit. All the time while growing up, I'd be in church and the teacher would ask someone in our ward who exemplifies service. Atleast one person every time would say my mother. Of course I agree, but I would like to change it and say the reason she inspires me is because of her sacrifice. This woman sacrifices for others every day, she really changes people's lives in the most meaningful and remarkable ways. She doesn't just give up when life gets hard- life is just harder when you do that. Not only does she sacrifice for others, but for each of us in my family. She works extra hard to help me pay for my schooling. Who could ask for a better mother? Not I. My mother is amazing.

I hope to be able to sacrifice for the greater good, to help others.

It is my hope and desire that you think of the 5 people who inspire you. Who do they inspire you to become? Why do they inspire you?

I hope you too can find some inspiration in the little things, and remember- good happens.

- J

Seize the Day - Carpe Diem

Recently the topic of who I am has been running through my mind. I see others around me so happy, so passionate, and I forget sometimes to realize that the little things in my life actually do make me happy. And the key to that happiness is just asking myself the questions I ask those around me everyday. I ask "What is your name?", "What is your major?", "Who do you want to be?", or even a simple "Tell me about yourself.", or "What are your goals in life?" Why haven't I ever thought to ask myself those simple questions?! Amy Lacrosse reminded me that it is possible to not only find your own personal inspiration, but inspire others. Sometimes its the smallest things that make the biggest difference.

The future depends on what we do in the present. - Mahatma Gandhi

How often do we stop and just enjoy a moment, or stop thinking and stressing and just focus on all the blessings we have right here in front of us? In the TV show Community a professor challenges each student to seize the day. One of the characters tries to fake seize the day to get his A. The professor tries to tell him that until he really seizes the day, for him, not for the grade, he won't be free. Today I tried to seize my day to the best of my ability. According to that professor, I may have only received a C, but I have time to improve.

"Of course, there will always be those who look only at technique, who ask 'how', while others of a more curious nature will ask 'why'. Personally, I have always preferred inspiration to information."

I will post every day one thing not only about myself, but the "why" behind it. I hope you too can find some inspiration in the little things, and remember- good happens.

- J