LOVE

Sometimes I feel the phrase "I love you" is used to often, and just flutters off the tounge with no real thought into what it means. Other times I feel "I love you" isn't said enough. Why is it that we struggle telling those we care for the most how strongly we feel, how much we love them? Why is it that we slip out "I love you" to people we barely know in either a joking tone, or simply out of convenience? Maybe if we understood what it really means, especially in regards to what it means for each of us individually, we'd use the phrase more carefully, specifically, and passionately.

Skye Thomas wrote an article regarding what "I love you" means. I'd encourage you to read it. What she does, is she splits up the three words into emphasis. When you emphasize "I" you are letting the person that you love that person. Usually, she explains, you use this 'version' to comfort someone when they feel alone, or unloved. By emphasizing that YOU love them, not that they might be loved, it makes a difference. When emphasizing "love" you are making the point that you don't just like, or care for, or even admire, but you do LOVE them. It has a lot of meaning when you emphasize love. Lastly, when emphasizing "you" we want the individual we are speaking with to know we don't just love anybody, or everybody, we love them. She made the point that we already say "I love you" and usually mean it. We already make emphasis. But she encourages us to really mean and emphasize each word. And say way. When you say you love someone, tell them why. You don't have to elaborate and make it some big deal. Just give a sentence or two, a minute, anything, and just say why.

Melody Brooke made two points I'd like to share.
1) "I love you" can mean different things to different people. You can say it to a friend, a loved one, a child, a family member, etc.
2) "I love you" is more than just 3 words. Loving someone is an action. It is the actions that teach us what the words mean.

Valentine's Day, and other holidays/birthdays shouldn't be the only days we show love, or express our love. We should be telling those we truly care about how much we care about them, even if love isn't the expression at first. We also shouldn't express that love for people before we are sure. The world has enough people out to hurt and break others hearts, why should we carelessly throw out these words like they mean nothing- When in reality those three words mean everything (if used in appropriate times).

My advice. Tell those you love that you do love them by actually saying, "I love you." Then tell them why. Second, if you aren't sure that you do love someone (as a friend, or as something more) don't say it until you are.

- J

Selflessness

William Bradford of the Seventy (lds church) once said, "If you would be truly happy, these acts must be acts of selflessness. Selflessness will turn sadness into a cheerful countenance. Selflessness produces kindness and dispels hypocrisy. Selflessness develops love, confidence, and trust. It is the vehicle of generosity. It is the resource God uses to answer the prayers of His children."

I have realized a lot of the time selflessness is a rare sight. Instead, we fill our minds with selfish thoughts and desires. Our society lacks the desire to be selfless. Sometimes it is simply easier to think of ourselves and have our actions act in result. But have you ever thought you might just be happier if you chose to be selfless instead?

"Selflessness is the giving of oneself in the serving of others
and the giving of oneself in being served by others.
Selflessness is a marvelous virtue.
It embraces the true spirit of companionship.
It is the very essence of friendship.
It is the portrayer of true love and oneness in humanity.

Fundamental to our individuality is agency.
The divinely given and heaven-protected gift of agency
allows us to determine our own balance of selflessness.
How and to what degree we serve others
and allow them to serve us is our choice."

It is our choice to the extent we serve, and allow others to serve. Think for one moment how your life has been blessed or bettered by one selfless act you performed. Think of a time when you helped another despite complications that could have resulted on your end. Now imagine how much happier you would be if your life were filled with those moments! Now imagine those times when you can see someone is desperately trying to serve or help you, and you just blow them off. Is it our right to deny others the happiness we too are seeking? All too often we explain there is barely enough time to help ourselves, let alone other people. And yet, if we are good, we do set apart some time to serve them. But when they try to help us, sometimes we fight it, and claim we have better things to do... That we could do it better on our own. But how true is that statement?

Couldn't we all use a hand helping us in our lives?

"Selfishness is closing the door of service to others

and disallowing others to serve us in love

while at the same time we attempt to serve ourselves

or wrongly exact service from people.

There is no happiness in selfishness.

It is a sin. Its product is misery and loneliness.

It alienates companions and develops enmity in human relationships."

I never really thought that being selfish was affecting my relationships with others until a good friend sat me down and talked with me about my choices and how maybe the reason I felt abandoned and lonely at times was because I was putting it on myself. Every time I made a selfish decision instead of choosing to help a good friend, I was putting those I cared most about second in my life. And putting others second to yourself, is never a good idea. I couldn't be happy because I was alone, and I was alone because I alienated myself by choosing to only take thought in myself, my desires, and what I thought I needed.

Remember, if you want to be happy, you can. Happiness is a choice. Remember that serving others, and allowing others to serve you can change your life, and theirs. Remember that selfishness can never result in true happiness. You don't want to look back and regret the way you've lived your life, because you were too self focused to make a change.

I hope you too can find some inspiration in the little things, and remember- good happens.

- J

Be The Change

Today I had a rare experience, one I hope I can be fortunate to see again. I was feeling overwhelmed and rushed and just wanted to get to class. In my hurry I was thinking of no one but myself. While walking quickly towards the elevator to get up to the 4th floor for class, in front of the buttons were two individuals. One was a young man and a young woman (in their twenties). The young woman was in a wheel chair. And as she reached to push the buttons to go down to the floor below, she reached a little too forward, and fell out of her chair. Having no strength of her own, she lay there helplessly. In a split second after her fall, this young man ran over to her, scooped her into his arms and sat her back in her chair. After which, he picked up all of the things that had fallen out of her chair, and her lap. I sat there kind of helpless, wishing there was something I could do. I didn't want to intrude, but I felt terrible. She just kept repeating, "I don't know why I fell out of my chair.." over and over again. I re pushed the elevator button and held the door open for her. As she thanked me, the doors closed.

I may never see her again, but I will always remember this experience. I didn't save a life, I didn't witness that young man save a life. But I saw a life that was touched, and I felt my life touched in the process.

We are not required to help others. It is not mandatory in our society. We are naturally selfish people, and we choose to do things for ourselves. So why did this young man help this young lady? Maybe there still is some decency in the world. Sometimes I look out at the corruption, pain, disgust, torture, etc. that exists all around us and I wonder how we went from simpler and better times to such horrible days. I wonder if there really is any good left in the world.

The Lord himself said, "In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world." That reminded of a hymn that may be familiar to you:

Have I done any good in the world today?
Have I helped anyone in need?
Have I cheered up the sad and made someone feel glad?
If not, I have failed indeed.
Has anyone’s burden been lighter today
Because I was willing to share?
Have the sick and the weary been helped on their way?
When they needed my help was I there?

Can you imagine what life would be like if we all had this on our minds as we went throughout our daily lives? There are so many people that need our help, and so many of us that need that help. If we even take a moment to be willing, we can change a life.

As we look out on our lives, and the society that surrounds us, we may not see much good left in the world. But I testify that good happens. That good exists. You don't see extremely selfless acts of service on a daily basis, but when you do, doesn't that make you want to change the way you go throughout your day? Good happens, and will continue to happen if we choose to be that good. Mahatma Gandhi said, "Be the change you wish to see in the world." So if you don't like what you see around you, you can be the one to start the cycle of change. Break the cycle of selfishness that surrounds us. It is possible, and it can start with you!

A man named Michael Angier said,
"In order for things to change, YOU have to change.
We can't change others; we can only change ourselves.
However, when WE change, it changes everything.
And in doing so, we truly can be the change we want to see in the world."

Remember that although at times it seems there is no hope for us in the world today, that if we really want to see a change, we must be the ones to start the cycle of changing. Remember that you can make a difference no matter how small or insignificant you may feel.

I hope you too can find some inspiration in the little things, and remember- good happens.

- J