Am I What I Want To Be?

In the Ensign (see lds.org) for February 2010, President Monson gave the "First Presidency Message". At one point he asked, "Am I what I want to be? Am I closer to the Savior today than I was yesterday? Will I be closer tomorrow? Do I have the courage to change for the better?..."

So I will answer these questions to myself, and share my insights with you.

Q: Am I what I want to be?
A: No, I am not. I am not perfect, nor am I even close. But I have had a change of heart recently, so I know I am getting close to the person I want to be. And I know it is not possible without the atonement of Jesus Christ and through the help of our loving Heavenly Father. Their help has made all the difference through the difficulties in my life. It is their constant love and support that reminds me that I can make it through, that I can change, that I can be perfect if I just do my part.

Q: Am I closer to the Savior than I was yesterday?
A: Yes, I most definitely am. Recently I have spent many hours pondering, praying, and studying the scriptures... Through the verses and quotes I have read, I have realized how loving and caring our Savior is. I always knew that he "knew what I was going through", but I now know without a doubt that he is the son of God, and that he truly has felt every pain, affliction, temptation, sadness, heartbreak, and fear I feel every day in my life. Through this discovery I have gotten closer and closer to him, and I love how I can become closer to Him every day.

Q: Will I be closer tomorrow?
A: I pray to be. Every day I will pray to become closer to my elder brother, my savior, the son of God. I pray to become closer because it is only he that can help me when I feel utterly alone. In any moment, it is my brother that will come to my aid. My older brother will step in, he already has, and he always will. He is there for me, so it is my hope and prayer that I will continue to become closer every day.

Q: Do I have the courage to change for the better?
A: I ask myself that question every day. Do I have the courage? I say that I want to have the courage, but I fall short. That is why I pray for help constantly. I can't do it alone. I know that. But with the help of good friends, loyal visiting teachers, constant home teachers, and my Father in Heaven, I know that I can make the decision to continue to change for the better. And when I fall short, when I fall down, I can stand back up, get up on my feet, and start again. As long as I have the tiniest bit of hope, the slightest bit of faith, I know I can do it. I'm never alone.

Ask yourselves these questions and if the answer may be no to a question or a few of the questions, realize there are people surrounding you who are there loving you and supporting you no matter what, but are willing to help if you just humble yourself enough to ask for it. Sometimes hitting the ground on your knees is in reality the hardest thing you can do, it take such humility. But imagine the blessings and rewards if you do.. Your friends are there to help you, so are those in your faith, your family. You'd be surprised by how many people would be willing to stop and drop everything to run to your aid. You can do it... You can make it through.

Remember, you are never alone. Remember that God is only a prayer away, and that there are people surrounding you who love you and will always be ready to lend a hand, an ear, or a heart. Remember that you can change, and all it takes is the smallest of desires. Anything is possible.

I hope you too can find some inspiration in the little things, and remember- good happens.

- J

ps. Check out this website, especially the part about Alma 5:7, but seriously, the whole thing with quotes and verses from Alma 5 are so powerful and wonderful, and I urge you to read the page full of scriptures and quotes. It will be worth it.