Courage

Often times many of us do not feel heard. We have opinions, experiences, feelings, but our voice has been drowned out so many times in the past that we stop sharing.

No one listens anymore. And, if they do "listen", they then tear us apart for sharing what we believe or have experienced.

We start to feel lonely.

We start to become isolated.

After a while, not feeling heard drives us to remove ourselves from situations we used to enjoy. After a while, we act like we don't really care because caring has caused too much pain.

But the whole not caring thing? It hurts more.


There are three things I want to share regarding feeling heard, and having courage to say what you want or need to say, whether or not people like it.

(1) SAY WHAT YOU NEED TO SAY. Whether or not you feel someone is listening, say it. If you are posting on facebook (or on your blog) and you've been told before that "you're wrong", that "you shouldn't share stuff like that", or anything else that has silenced you and taken away your voice... STOP LISTENING TO THE HATERS. No matter what is said (by you or me or anyone for that matter), someone will disagree. 

Too often we spend our time trying to please both sides. We avoid saying anything controversial because we don't want to offend someone, let alone say something that would offend a friend or family member. But choosing to stay neutral and never say anything real, will only begin to suffocate you until (a) you start believing you don't really have anything to say or (b) you entirely stop believing what you used to believe.

Your beliefs and experiencing are real and true, if not to the haters, at least to you! You may feel as if you are the only one who has ever thought that thought or gone through that experience, but you never know who has felt the same exact things (or similar things) but have had their voice shut down-- and have started believing they are alone in those feelings, and/or have either given up on sharing those feelings at all.

Have the courage to have your opinion and share it too. Say it, even if you're afraid to.


(2) STAND UP FOR YOURSELF AND OTHERS. How often do we overhear someone say something or come across something online that is hurtful or offensive? It may personally offend you. It may offend you because it attacks or humiliates someone you know, a family member or friend. It might call out a group of people that you identify with.  

How often do we feel hurt by what is said and then let it destroy us, a little at a time-- all while it demolishes our confidence and causes us to crawl into a little hole and just hide.

Why do we let their words break us? Why don't we stand up and say something, even if it's just something small? 

I read an article this morning that really touched me. Someone chose to have courage and say something. She wasn't sure she should, but she was glad when she did. View the article here.

I admire her. I admire how she stood up for this women, a woman she didn't even know.

I know I'd be more likely to stand up for someone else, than I would for myself. Why is that? Why do I cower at the idea of standing up for myself when I feel attacked or hurt? 

What a difference it would make if we each chose to stand up for ourselves and others more often than we do. Imagine the lives that would change, the empowerment that would be felt, the sense of community that would develop. 

You deserve to have a voice. It's time to have the courage to make your voice heard.


(3) DON'T GIVE UP OR GIVE IN.

When you get a comment or message about something you've said that stings a bit, or hurts more than it should, don't give in! Stay strong.

Today I saw an anonymous comment that had been left on one of my previous blog posts last night. In the comment there were some things said that initially caused me to literally cower over. The commenter said "gag me" and then asked that I stay out of other people's business and stick to my own.

I wanted to stop my blog right then. For a solid minute I read and re-read the comment as if this stranger had taken away my confidence and destroyed my entire belief system.

Then I thought about it and realized that the one comment that I read didn't change anything. I was not less of a person. Those words didn't take away my personal experiences. I felt such hate in this person's comment. It was clear to me that they were offended by what I shared and couldn't let it go, so they chose to spend their time hating on me.

That comment helped me realize that there will almost ALWAYS be someone that will disagree with what I have to say. So I shook it off, and wrote this. Thing is, I don't want to spend my time hating on anyone else. I don't want to spend my time finding ways to get back at someone for something they said that I didn't like. We are all entitled to have our opinions and our opinions will be based on our own experiences and understandings. So why waste my time trying to convince someone that their thoughts/feelings/experiences are invalid? That's just cruel, and pointless.

Have the courage to keep sharing your thoughts and experiences, even when others may try to shoot you down at every turn. Don't give up, don't give in.






(I hope you know that I do not desire for my blog to try to convince you of anything, or to make you feel inadequate, insecure, or anything like that.) 

The PURPOSE of this blog is to encourage everyone to open their minds, to think a little differently than they did before, to try a little harder to be a little better.

I hope that as I write these posts, you (as my readers) will share your insights and allow me to open my mind more, thinking differently. I recognize the value of learning something from everyone I meet.

We all have strengths and experiences that set us aside from others around us.

By choosing to listen instead of disagree, to comment with an encouraging alternative thought process or idea, and learn to go into each new situation with a more open mind and heart, we are allowing others the same courtesy that we expect from them.

All we want as humans is to be heard. But don't forget that you can't expect someone to hear you out if you always shut them down.

Have the courage to be different, to speak your mind. Have the courage to stand up for others as they do the same. And, have the courage to open your mind and heart and think a little differently. Afterall, we all deserve an equal opportunity not only to be heard, but also to listen to others as they share what they need to say.