LOVE

Sometimes I feel the phrase "I love you" is used to often, and just flutters off the tounge with no real thought into what it means. Other times I feel "I love you" isn't said enough. Why is it that we struggle telling those we care for the most how strongly we feel, how much we love them? Why is it that we slip out "I love you" to people we barely know in either a joking tone, or simply out of convenience? Maybe if we understood what it really means, especially in regards to what it means for each of us individually, we'd use the phrase more carefully, specifically, and passionately.

Skye Thomas wrote an article regarding what "I love you" means. I'd encourage you to read it. What she does, is she splits up the three words into emphasis. When you emphasize "I" you are letting the person that you love that person. Usually, she explains, you use this 'version' to comfort someone when they feel alone, or unloved. By emphasizing that YOU love them, not that they might be loved, it makes a difference. When emphasizing "love" you are making the point that you don't just like, or care for, or even admire, but you do LOVE them. It has a lot of meaning when you emphasize love. Lastly, when emphasizing "you" we want the individual we are speaking with to know we don't just love anybody, or everybody, we love them. She made the point that we already say "I love you" and usually mean it. We already make emphasis. But she encourages us to really mean and emphasize each word. And say way. When you say you love someone, tell them why. You don't have to elaborate and make it some big deal. Just give a sentence or two, a minute, anything, and just say why.

Melody Brooke made two points I'd like to share.
1) "I love you" can mean different things to different people. You can say it to a friend, a loved one, a child, a family member, etc.
2) "I love you" is more than just 3 words. Loving someone is an action. It is the actions that teach us what the words mean.

Valentine's Day, and other holidays/birthdays shouldn't be the only days we show love, or express our love. We should be telling those we truly care about how much we care about them, even if love isn't the expression at first. We also shouldn't express that love for people before we are sure. The world has enough people out to hurt and break others hearts, why should we carelessly throw out these words like they mean nothing- When in reality those three words mean everything (if used in appropriate times).

My advice. Tell those you love that you do love them by actually saying, "I love you." Then tell them why. Second, if you aren't sure that you do love someone (as a friend, or as something more) don't say it until you are.

- J

Selflessness

William Bradford of the Seventy (lds church) once said, "If you would be truly happy, these acts must be acts of selflessness. Selflessness will turn sadness into a cheerful countenance. Selflessness produces kindness and dispels hypocrisy. Selflessness develops love, confidence, and trust. It is the vehicle of generosity. It is the resource God uses to answer the prayers of His children."

I have realized a lot of the time selflessness is a rare sight. Instead, we fill our minds with selfish thoughts and desires. Our society lacks the desire to be selfless. Sometimes it is simply easier to think of ourselves and have our actions act in result. But have you ever thought you might just be happier if you chose to be selfless instead?

"Selflessness is the giving of oneself in the serving of others
and the giving of oneself in being served by others.
Selflessness is a marvelous virtue.
It embraces the true spirit of companionship.
It is the very essence of friendship.
It is the portrayer of true love and oneness in humanity.

Fundamental to our individuality is agency.
The divinely given and heaven-protected gift of agency
allows us to determine our own balance of selflessness.
How and to what degree we serve others
and allow them to serve us is our choice."

It is our choice to the extent we serve, and allow others to serve. Think for one moment how your life has been blessed or bettered by one selfless act you performed. Think of a time when you helped another despite complications that could have resulted on your end. Now imagine how much happier you would be if your life were filled with those moments! Now imagine those times when you can see someone is desperately trying to serve or help you, and you just blow them off. Is it our right to deny others the happiness we too are seeking? All too often we explain there is barely enough time to help ourselves, let alone other people. And yet, if we are good, we do set apart some time to serve them. But when they try to help us, sometimes we fight it, and claim we have better things to do... That we could do it better on our own. But how true is that statement?

Couldn't we all use a hand helping us in our lives?

"Selfishness is closing the door of service to others

and disallowing others to serve us in love

while at the same time we attempt to serve ourselves

or wrongly exact service from people.

There is no happiness in selfishness.

It is a sin. Its product is misery and loneliness.

It alienates companions and develops enmity in human relationships."

I never really thought that being selfish was affecting my relationships with others until a good friend sat me down and talked with me about my choices and how maybe the reason I felt abandoned and lonely at times was because I was putting it on myself. Every time I made a selfish decision instead of choosing to help a good friend, I was putting those I cared most about second in my life. And putting others second to yourself, is never a good idea. I couldn't be happy because I was alone, and I was alone because I alienated myself by choosing to only take thought in myself, my desires, and what I thought I needed.

Remember, if you want to be happy, you can. Happiness is a choice. Remember that serving others, and allowing others to serve you can change your life, and theirs. Remember that selfishness can never result in true happiness. You don't want to look back and regret the way you've lived your life, because you were too self focused to make a change.

I hope you too can find some inspiration in the little things, and remember- good happens.

- J

Be The Change

Today I had a rare experience, one I hope I can be fortunate to see again. I was feeling overwhelmed and rushed and just wanted to get to class. In my hurry I was thinking of no one but myself. While walking quickly towards the elevator to get up to the 4th floor for class, in front of the buttons were two individuals. One was a young man and a young woman (in their twenties). The young woman was in a wheel chair. And as she reached to push the buttons to go down to the floor below, she reached a little too forward, and fell out of her chair. Having no strength of her own, she lay there helplessly. In a split second after her fall, this young man ran over to her, scooped her into his arms and sat her back in her chair. After which, he picked up all of the things that had fallen out of her chair, and her lap. I sat there kind of helpless, wishing there was something I could do. I didn't want to intrude, but I felt terrible. She just kept repeating, "I don't know why I fell out of my chair.." over and over again. I re pushed the elevator button and held the door open for her. As she thanked me, the doors closed.

I may never see her again, but I will always remember this experience. I didn't save a life, I didn't witness that young man save a life. But I saw a life that was touched, and I felt my life touched in the process.

We are not required to help others. It is not mandatory in our society. We are naturally selfish people, and we choose to do things for ourselves. So why did this young man help this young lady? Maybe there still is some decency in the world. Sometimes I look out at the corruption, pain, disgust, torture, etc. that exists all around us and I wonder how we went from simpler and better times to such horrible days. I wonder if there really is any good left in the world.

The Lord himself said, "In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world." That reminded of a hymn that may be familiar to you:

Have I done any good in the world today?
Have I helped anyone in need?
Have I cheered up the sad and made someone feel glad?
If not, I have failed indeed.
Has anyone’s burden been lighter today
Because I was willing to share?
Have the sick and the weary been helped on their way?
When they needed my help was I there?

Can you imagine what life would be like if we all had this on our minds as we went throughout our daily lives? There are so many people that need our help, and so many of us that need that help. If we even take a moment to be willing, we can change a life.

As we look out on our lives, and the society that surrounds us, we may not see much good left in the world. But I testify that good happens. That good exists. You don't see extremely selfless acts of service on a daily basis, but when you do, doesn't that make you want to change the way you go throughout your day? Good happens, and will continue to happen if we choose to be that good. Mahatma Gandhi said, "Be the change you wish to see in the world." So if you don't like what you see around you, you can be the one to start the cycle of change. Break the cycle of selfishness that surrounds us. It is possible, and it can start with you!

A man named Michael Angier said,
"In order for things to change, YOU have to change.
We can't change others; we can only change ourselves.
However, when WE change, it changes everything.
And in doing so, we truly can be the change we want to see in the world."

Remember that although at times it seems there is no hope for us in the world today, that if we really want to see a change, we must be the ones to start the cycle of changing. Remember that you can make a difference no matter how small or insignificant you may feel.

I hope you too can find some inspiration in the little things, and remember- good happens.

- J

Why The Result of my Surgery Was Kind of a Miracle!

As most of you know, one week ago today I had surgery on my shoulder. Why I bring this up here, why it is good that has happened? Well, for two years I gave suffered with intense shoulder/neck pain. Pain I would say has averaged between 4-7/10 (on pain scale) constantly. I've been to at least 5 doctors- regular doctors, orthopedic specialists, and a rheumatologist. They have all ended up giving me 3 pieces of "advice": 1) try this new/different pain medication, 2) try physical therapy, 3) ... and good luck. So I've been on at least 9 different perscription strength pain meds, received cortisone shots, attended physical therapy for over 16 months, had multiple MRIs an x-rays... and guess what. "Good luck" was the best advice I got for 2 years.

**Note: MRIs and x-rays showed tiny labrum tear, small chip and crack in shoulder joint/bone, tendinitis, bursitis, global instability, extreme immobility, etc. But all of these things a) shouldn't be causing the amount of pain I am in, and b) should've mostly been fixed by all the medications and physical therapy.**

I finally went back to a family doctor expressing my concern that I couldn't even drive, scrape ice off my car, cook, write/type, carry groceries, etc. without extreme pain that was past unbearable. He suggested I go back to my orthopedic specialist and ask that he scope my shoulder. So, one day that next week I did. And after waiting almost 2 hours, and explaining my concern and pain, he agreed. Unfortunately, he made a point to emphasize that it was very unlikely that he would find anything.

Wednesday the 17th, the surgeon went in expecting an unsuccessful exploratory arthoscopy. I was expecting to be in surgery for 30-45 minutes. Turns out...

GOOD HAPPENS!...

The doctor found a very substantial tear. This tear was an almost completely torn ligament, aka the labrum was barely connected, it was pretty much gone and just 'hanging' there. You can research more if you're interested.

Why is this good news? Yes, I may be in pain now, and be in a sling, and have to do more physical therapy. But in 6 months, I am not going to be in constant pain anymore. I'm going to be okay! :) What a miracle it was that he found the tear when he did, and that he was able to fix it when he did.

Good happens, even when you least expect it. Even when the odds are against you. Even when you believe there is no hope. Remember- God blesses us in ways we sometimes have trouble seeing the positive in, but boy does He love us and bless us continually. What a wonderful knowledge it is, what a truth: Good happens!

I hope you too can find some inspiration in the little things, and remember- good happens.

- J

Am I What I Want To Be?

In the Ensign (see lds.org) for February 2010, President Monson gave the "First Presidency Message". At one point he asked, "Am I what I want to be? Am I closer to the Savior today than I was yesterday? Will I be closer tomorrow? Do I have the courage to change for the better?..."

So I will answer these questions to myself, and share my insights with you.

Q: Am I what I want to be?
A: No, I am not. I am not perfect, nor am I even close. But I have had a change of heart recently, so I know I am getting close to the person I want to be. And I know it is not possible without the atonement of Jesus Christ and through the help of our loving Heavenly Father. Their help has made all the difference through the difficulties in my life. It is their constant love and support that reminds me that I can make it through, that I can change, that I can be perfect if I just do my part.

Q: Am I closer to the Savior than I was yesterday?
A: Yes, I most definitely am. Recently I have spent many hours pondering, praying, and studying the scriptures... Through the verses and quotes I have read, I have realized how loving and caring our Savior is. I always knew that he "knew what I was going through", but I now know without a doubt that he is the son of God, and that he truly has felt every pain, affliction, temptation, sadness, heartbreak, and fear I feel every day in my life. Through this discovery I have gotten closer and closer to him, and I love how I can become closer to Him every day.

Q: Will I be closer tomorrow?
A: I pray to be. Every day I will pray to become closer to my elder brother, my savior, the son of God. I pray to become closer because it is only he that can help me when I feel utterly alone. In any moment, it is my brother that will come to my aid. My older brother will step in, he already has, and he always will. He is there for me, so it is my hope and prayer that I will continue to become closer every day.

Q: Do I have the courage to change for the better?
A: I ask myself that question every day. Do I have the courage? I say that I want to have the courage, but I fall short. That is why I pray for help constantly. I can't do it alone. I know that. But with the help of good friends, loyal visiting teachers, constant home teachers, and my Father in Heaven, I know that I can make the decision to continue to change for the better. And when I fall short, when I fall down, I can stand back up, get up on my feet, and start again. As long as I have the tiniest bit of hope, the slightest bit of faith, I know I can do it. I'm never alone.

Ask yourselves these questions and if the answer may be no to a question or a few of the questions, realize there are people surrounding you who are there loving you and supporting you no matter what, but are willing to help if you just humble yourself enough to ask for it. Sometimes hitting the ground on your knees is in reality the hardest thing you can do, it take such humility. But imagine the blessings and rewards if you do.. Your friends are there to help you, so are those in your faith, your family. You'd be surprised by how many people would be willing to stop and drop everything to run to your aid. You can do it... You can make it through.

Remember, you are never alone. Remember that God is only a prayer away, and that there are people surrounding you who love you and will always be ready to lend a hand, an ear, or a heart. Remember that you can change, and all it takes is the smallest of desires. Anything is possible.

I hope you too can find some inspiration in the little things, and remember- good happens.

- J

ps. Check out this website, especially the part about Alma 5:7, but seriously, the whole thing with quotes and verses from Alma 5 are so powerful and wonderful, and I urge you to read the page full of scriptures and quotes. It will be worth it.

Choose to be happy!

Happiness is a choice. I read on a poster where I work, "Choose to be happy." And around the quote was a lady vacuuming her living room while a boy drove a car into her house. If she could stay happy during that event, I am sure we can learn to be happy.

"I believe happiness is a choice; our circumstances don’t automatically make that choice for us. Though the road to happiness is never easy, the trip is worth the struggles. Any time I feel discouraged, lonely, or left out, I know it is time to reach out to others. As I have helped others, I have actually gained more than the recipients of my service because I have let the sunshine back into my own life. One can’t help but be happy while making a difference in someone else’s life!"
- Sherrin Benson McHenry

You can feel that your life is spiraling downward, and you are struggling to be happy, it is our choice whether or not we let the sunshine back into our lives... How we do that, well that is a personal choice. Whether is is serving or helping others, finding things we are passionate about, or even simply noticing our little blessings, the little things that make our lives, well, good.

"We tend to forget that happiness
doesn't come as a result of getting
something we don't have,
but rather of recognizing
and appreciating what we do have."
- Frederick Keonig

"Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections."

Benjamin De Hoyos, of the Quorum of the Seventy in the LDS church, gave a talk that I think each of us should take the time to read and apply. He explained, "My beloved brothers and sisters, we need to recognize that "wanting to" is the determining factor which leads us to lay hold upon the word of God and be happy. Perseverance in making correct decisions is what leads us to happiness. Happiness comes as a result of our obedience and our courage in always doing the will of God, even in the most difficult circumstances."

He continued, "Yes, we find happiness in the midst of the trial of our faith. The Lord manifests Himself to us through His tender mercies, which we find along the road of happiness. We see with increased clarity His hand in our lives. Happiness is a condition of the soul. This joyous state comes as a result of righteous living."

After which he quoted the Prophet Joseph Smith saying, "Happiness is the object and design of our existence; and will be the end thereof, if we pursue the path that leads to it; and this path is virtue, uprightness, faithfulness, holiness, and keeping all the commandments of God."

How wonderful is it that we can honestly choose to be happy. What a knowledge it is to know that through the Lord Jesus Christ, and our Father in Heaven, as we live righteously, we can be led to be happy. The Lord will be by our sides through difficult times, and as we keep His commandments, we will be blessed, we can find a real, honest happiness. I would also suggest reading this talk (from the 1st presidency/James E. Faust), in it he quotes a poem,

"Success is speaking words of praise,
In cheering other people’s ways,
In doing just the best you can
With every task and every plan.

It’s silence when your speech would hurt,
Politeness when your neighbor’s curt.
It’s deafness when the scandal flows
And sympathy with others’ woes.

It’s loyalty when duty calls.
It’s courage when disaster falls.
It’s patience when the hours are long.
It’s found in laughter and in song.

It’s in the silent time of prayer,
In happiness and in despair.
In all of life and nothing less,
We find the thing we call success."

I know that we can be happy if we only allow ourselves to be. Remember that happiness is a choice, and it is a choice you can make. Remember that through the gospel of Jesus Christ, and through his teachings, a righteous way of living, can change your life. You can choose to be happy.. and you can find happiness even in the hardest of times, if you only let yourself.

I hope you too can find some inspiration in the little things, and remember- good happens.

- J

You Can Do Hard Things!

"I can do hard things!"

My mother sent me a paper with this written 3 times. I put one by my food, one by my bed, and one in our bathroom in the apartment. One of my 'sayings' is "Life is hard", or "Life... what are we going to do with it?" My mother reminds me that I was born to do hard things, and I can do hard things. At first I was hesitant and kind of laughed at the phrase. Sometimes I feel I get more than my fair share of heart ache, health problems, depression, struggles, and hard times in school. The whole "I can do hard things" is kinda like a slap in the face. Yeah, I can do hard things. The question is do I want to, or do I want to give up and be the lazy kid most people know me as. Well, I can live up to their expectations, and keep slipping up, or I can be the person that I know, and my Heavenly Father knows, I can be.

“Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do.

But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart,

that's true strength.”

Thing is, we all have divine potential. But when we look at ourselves, all we see are our insecurities and our failures. Why is it so hard for us to realize that yes, life is hard, but we have all the power to overcome those hard things? It is possible, we CAN do hard things.

“Don't ever lose hope and give up,

everything turns out okay

and the good guy always wins.”

I'm not saying it will be easy, and I'm not saying we will feel it is worth it right now. But in the future, when we look back at the things we have accomplished- then it will all be worth it.

“Promise me you'll always remember:

You're braver than you believe,

stronger than you seem,

and smarter than you think."

- Christopher Robin to Pooh

Christopher Robin said this to Pooh, and now I'm saying it to you. And I mean it, we always makes our accomplishments into failures, our joys into sadness. And it doesn't take much to do so, it's in our nature, it's what we do. But remember what Christopher Robin said, and remember you are better than you think you are. Even if you can't see it, there is always two who can see it: Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. And I'm sure there are many more than that, if you just give others a chance.


Remember- you can do hard things. Never give up. You are a child of God, and that will mean more in the eternities than anything you will ever do, ever know. So remember that.

I hope you too can find some inspiration in the little things, and remember- good happens.

- J